Several days ago my husband and I were watching something on television, and it reminded us of what we have been through. Now, at this point, nearly 10 years after the fact, we hardly talk about his affair. But there are occasions when something takes us back to those days.
We discussed how hopeless things seem when you are in such immense, all-consuming pain. I told him how dark and bleak things seemed, how all I could see was darkness and pain, and how there seemed to be no way I would ever feel anything other than the agony I was experiencing. I could not see my way past it. There seemed to be no light at the end of the tunnel. I could not imagine a day when I felt anything other than pain and despair. I could not imagine tears ceasing to flow from my eyes. But, you know what…despite the pain, I did have one thing, even though it seemed like a long shot…I had hope. Albeit just a sliver of it, but I still had it. And in the end, hope won. I hung on, clinging to hope that I would not always hurt, and, eventually I stopped hurting. Eventually the sun shined again. Eventually the tears stopped falling from my eyes.
So, for those of you who are asking yourself these same kinds of questions, who are wondering if you will ever stop hurting, you have hope. I don’t know how long you will hurt, how many tears you will have to cry, before you start feeling the sun shining again, but it will happen. Just hang on…cling to hope. It won’t let you down.