Hi, everyone! I know it has been quite some time since you have heard from me, and for that I apologize. I left you all hanging, and I am sorry. I will explain why it has been so long since I have updated this blog in another post to immediately follow this one.
As the end of 2018 drew near, I was challenged by a couple of friends on Facebook who were praying about a word from God for 2019. I was curious about this practice as I have never done it. But, I decided I would take the challenge and I began praying and asking God to give me a word for 2019. I also asked him to confirm the word because I wanted to be sure it was of him and not something that just popped into my head of my own.
On January 7, I was driving home from dropping my daughter off at school, and I was praying. I remember I was specifically praying for a word for 2019. Then, I heard that still, small voice: surrender. Immediately, I questioned if it was me or God, so the voice repeated, “surrender.” I had my word from God for 2019. Surrender. I don’t know what word I was expecting, but it was not surrender. Nevertheless, I have started asking God to teach me what surrender means. I do not know what forms surrender may take or the different ways it may look, but I know God will teach me.
When God gave me the word surrender, two areas of my life immediately came to my mind. The first was money/finances. I worry a lot about money and how my family can pay the bills. As many of you know, my husband is disabled due to chronic, severe migraines, and I am not able to work outside of the home. It is hard to find regular work to do from home. So, money is a concern. I need to learn to surrender those worries and concerns to God. The other area is my relationship with my thirteen-year-old daughter. I find myself getting into power struggles with her. It frustrates me, and I do not know how to handle it. I have to surrender that to God. One thing I have been doing is not engaging her when she starts being difficult or stubborn. I am learning to withdraw from those types of situations, even if only for a few minutes, until I can approach the situation in a positive manner. I talked to my husband about this dilemma, and he and I agreed that when I find myself entering into a tug-of-war with my daughter, I need to tell him about it and let him handle her.
It is obvious that surrender requires obedience to God. I am also realizing, though, that surrender also requires wisdom. I have been asking God to give me wisdom and understanding because I desperately need those things in my life. I can’t do this on my own. Interestingly, one of my devotion apps, First5, is going through the book of Proverbs, and one of the main themes of Proverbs is wisdom. In the book of James, James tells us that if we need wisdom, we need to ask it of God, who will give it to us (James 1:5). I need wisdom to recognize when I need to surrender and in what ways.
I also am learning that surrender means I put God first in my life. He doesn’t need to get the leftovers; he needs the first and the best I have. That means taking time in the mornings to spend time reading the Bible, meditating upon it, and praying. It means stopping what I am doing or putting off what I want/need to do if God calls me to do something else. I’m very bad about having a one-track mind and getting so focused on what I am doing or what I need to do that I neglect other things. I don’t like being interrupted when I am in the middle of something because I have a do-it-now mentality. Sometimes, God wants me to just stop and be still and listen to him. It’s hard changing this part of who I am and getting out of this pattern, but I can do it with God’s help.
I want to encourage those of you who are Christians to seek God about what he wants to do in your life in 2019. I’m excited about where this journey will lead and what God will accomplish in me as I surrender.