This is a great article from someone who has been there. I think her counsel is right on!
I have been watching the developments over the hacking of the online cheating website, Ashley Madison. I, for one, am glad that the cheaters have been exposed, even if I do not necessarily agree with the way they were exposed. I find it very disturbing, however, that the cheaters are being treated as if they are the victims and that their lives and marriages are in ruins because of the illegal acts of Team Impact. I find it extremely distressing that such a website even exists. The fact that this website exists and is so popular is a sign of how morally and spiritually depraved our society has become. Men and women are being encouraged to cheat on their spouses, and are being deceived into thinking that the sexually illicit affair will spice up their marriages and make their lives more exciting. After all, life is short…so why not? Such a cavalier and flippant attitude to a very painful and destructive act is bewildering to me. Clearly, our society has given in to the lusts of the flesh and are living their lives on paths that will inevitably lead to their destruction.
Now that the cheaters have been exposed, many are offering up excuses in sad and pathetic attempts to justify or excuse their behavior. Many, also, are claiming that their name and information being on the site is all a mistake. Many are indignant that Team Impact would have the audacity to out them and pass moral judgment on them! How dare they expose us? Our actions are harmless. It is only sex. These people have lived with their deception and lies so long that they actually believe them now. I, for one, know first hand that affairs are by no means and in no way harmless and innocent. No matter how someone tries to spin it, there is NEVER a good and justifiable reason to commit adultery. Cheating on one’s spouse is perhaps one of the most selfish and heartless things a person can do. Eventually, everything done in secret comes to the light (Luke 8:17). Sexual sin is sin not only against God, it is also sin against one’s own body and the person’s spouse. Sin is never just your sin or my sin. The sin of either spouse affects the other spouse because a husband and wife are one flesh. So, when you sin against your own body, you sin against your spouse. It is that simple.
Proverbs 7 gives wise counsel to the man who considers the seductive words of an adulterous, sexually immoral woman. To paraphrase, the writer tells the man to RUN–not walk–as hard and as fast as he can away from such a woman. The reason given is because the path leads to ruin and destruction and death. The unwise man who succumbs to such seduction is considered foolish. He is being led to his own demise and cannot see it. A few moments, days, weeks, months of pleasure are not worth the cost that will be exacted. There are no exceptions. The Bible makes no concessions based on one’s race, religion, economic and social standing, or political power. God is no respecter of persons, and no one’s sins will be excused or overlooked by a holy and just God. All of our sins are in plain sight to God; there is nothing hidden from Him.
To hear the Toronto investigators label Team Impact as the ones who are causing social and economic ruin is preposterous! To hear the cheaters referred to as the victims who are now being victimized by Team Impact and others who now know their actions borders on flat out arrogance and smacks of callousness against those who have been truly wronged–the spouses of the cheaters! Do not blame those who expose the darkness for the consequences of your sinful deeds. Do not blame them for the social and economic ruin YOUR actions and your actions alone have caused! Do not accuse Team Impact of destroying your life, your marriage, your family, your career, etc. when you were managing that quite well on your own. Your actions alone led you to where you are. Your unwise and sinful choices and actions are what are destroying your life as you know it. You had no mercy on your spouse when you willfully and selfishly decided to begin an affair. You did not care how your actions affected her, so why are you now expecting mercy and compassion? You alone are to blame for all the consequences of your choices. Sin is destructive–it always has been and always will be. We destroy our own lives when we fail to live according to God’s precepts and standards.
While it is unfortunate that some of the users of the website chose to take their own lives instead of dealing with the consequences of their own actions, their deaths are not the fault of those who exposed their sin. Sin leads to death–both spiritual and physical. When you choose to sin, you condemn yourself. To those being extorted, that, too, is unfortunate, but sin carries a high price. Why not just come clean and be honest with everyone whom your sin affected? You created your mess, and it is a huge, ugly mess. I understand that hacking into a website and revealing information about people is illegal, but what Team Impact did is no worse than what you were doing. Their illegal actions are no worse than your totally selfish immoral actions. So, this is my counsel, and you can take it or leave it. Own up to your pathetic and destructive choices and take full responsibility for them. Deal with the consequences. Make amends to those whom you have hurt and get your heart right with God. Honestly, God is your only redemptive hope in the ugliness you created.
None of us can violate God’s laws and expect to escape judgment for our actions. No one is exempt from any of God’s laws, either. Sin has negative consequences; that is a principle none of us can change. We reap what we sow. When we sow to our flesh, we reap pain, destruction and corruption. I find it pathetic that so many in our society want to live their lives as they please but they don’t want to own the consequences of their choices. I find it disturbing that such wicked and destructive websites are even allowed to exist. That is a sad commentary on how far our societies have fallen and a testament to our moral and spiritual bankruptcy and depravity. Sin is never to be taken lightly, and it should not be encouraged. It is pleasurable for a season, but it always leads to heartache and devastation. No one is without excuse. You went into the situation knowing full well what you were doing and now you expect to get sympathy and you claim to be the ones being “victimized”? May God help us, for we are desperately lost.